A Father's Story of Discovery

Doctor, Father and Karateka Richard Girton shares his thoughts about karate and JKA Hawaii:

A Father’s Story of Discovery
I didn’t join at first. Our children had expressed interest in the acrobatics and fighting skills of some of the characters in the recent Start Wars movies and were interested in Karate. My father had told me that the one regret he had in raising me was that he didn’t put me into martial arts when I was a child. He explained that the discipline teaches focus, coordination and self-confidence. I thought that my two boys could certainly benefit from that.

When we heard from a friend at school about a wonderful karate dojo in Hahaione Valley, right near our home, we decided to check it out. After we watched a class our friend attended one evening, our boys were interested and wanted to try it! Initially, I watched with partial interest, providing the occasionally supportive comments that are expected of parents. The boys seemed to be happy and were flourishing. I thought they were “cute” when I saw them do their first kata. As I watched more, I began to appreciate how special our sensei appeared to be, how his focus really was on the children. His face regularly glowed with appreciation for the children. I had a genuine sense that the children were his real love and concluded that our boys were very fortunate to be associated with this sensei in this dojo.

I had always been active in sports in school (basketball, track & field) and continued to run after finishing school, but my activity level had fallen off substantially over the last 3 years and back pain was becoming a daily nuisance. Recalling my father’s comments, I decided to try something totally different for me and joined my kids after about 6 months of watching them.
I was not sure of what to expect at first, but just tried to listen closely and learn as much as I could from Sensei. I quickly realized that everything really does have a meaning and every detail is important. Said another way, Karate provided more than one could ever want to think about and improve upon. It provided good practice for life, it seemed to me. Seek perfection in everything that you do. What was important was to train your body to completely understand the movements and techniques. In time, the proper technique would come.

Sensei’s emphasis was on being a good person, not only physically, but also spiritually. There were two other men, neither of whom have children of their own, that joined just before I did. I noticed how Sensei paid very close attention to how we interacted with the children in class.

Additionally, modeled for us right from the beginning, the more senior students, the Sempai, were expected to assist with teaching and caring for the children in the class. All accepted it, seemingly without reservation. Out of this large family-like structure emerged a sense of genuine caring and camaraderie among the adults in the class. For a new adult student, this environment was very attractive and welcoming. It made me want to attend class more often.
Sensei once told me that the speed with which you develop in Karate was not important. Rather, Karate would become a lifelong journey. He bravely used a difficult experience from his own life to illustrate the importance of not letting your desire to improve in Karate overwhelm your need to meet your primary obligation to your family. Hearing his story made me realize that I had the rest of my life to pursue Karate. Thus, balancing Karate with the many other aspects of a busy parent’s life became very possible. Not only was it possible, it was expected by Sensei. I never was made to feel guilty if parenting or family obligations prevented me from attending practice. Sensei’s validation of the importance of family was undoubtedly the most important of my unexpected early lessons, and is probably the most important lesson that I have received to date.

There was another event that demonstrated Sensei’s commitment to the lifelong journey that is Karate. When one of my sons decided that he no longer wanted to continue in Karate, Sensei very graciously, supportively and without judgment, left the door open for him by telling him that often times students want to or need to take a break. As he had done with me, he told him that Karate is a lifelong pursuit and he could come back any time. My son was relieved that Sensei was so understanding. I suspect that if he decides to come back in the future, he will have this very positive memory to help draw him back to the dojo.

So what impact has Karate had on my life since starting almost two years ago, now? My back pain has essentially vanished. More important has been the positive impact of Karate on my sons. My older son wanted to take a test to get his next belt because his friend from school was going to test. Sensei had not invited either of them to test and told them that if they did, they might not necessarily pass.

A long discussion about the virtues of patience led him to decide that he would not test just because he wanted to “keep up” with his friend but rather would wait for Sensei to invite him to test. This decision appears to have marked a big turning point for him. Since that time, his enthusiasm and focus increased substantially in practice. His relationship with me became a lot closer and he started to accept additional and new responsibilities in school as well. I attribute much of his growth and maturity to his sustained commitment to Karate.

Just as I believe Sensei is proud of all of his students, I am proud of my boys for how they have grown as a result of their participation in Karate. I suspect that I have grown as well and am thankful to Sensei and the Sempai for the opportunity.